How did I get here
This isn't about the birds and bees , I should at my age know all that, but how have I ended up with my own web page, wanting to make something out of photography?
Should be a simple answer but as mentioned in my about me section it is more complex than that. Since a very early age I have used a camera, generally the one belonging to my mum bought for her by my dad when they were on honeymoon in Austria late 1950's, so you could say it is an item that connects us all together and it is now displayed at home having stopped being used some years ago. I stopped using it but didn't lose interest in photography and in fact when my daughter was born I bought my first digital SLR so could shoot her, oh how I wish at times I could have ;-).
But a few years before her birth is where my story really starts, I was involved in a major incident where there were multiple fatalities and whilst I may be by some considered lucky, the incident caused me to suffer with poor mental health and eventually I was diagnosed with PTSD. The diagnosis did not come soon enough and because of how I am, I hid the impact and carried on but damage was done, leaving me suffering from extreme mood swings, low self esteem and a major disbelief in my abilities. There are also certain triggers that cause bouts of depression and anxiety. During a particularly poor time a good friend encouraged me out on a photography session with him and although I tried to avoid the day I was pushed/dragged in to going. I will though now admit that this was the start of something really beneficial for me.
I found just being outside whether I was walking the local area of woodland, sitting in a hide or just resting in a field, nature's sounds had a really beneficial impact on how I felt. It didn't matter if sunny, wet or cold nature was, and still is, a positive influence in my life.
The benefit to my personal wellbeing led me to becoming more interested in photography, how it worked, why it doesn't at times and now I have a passion to ensure I improve. Learning more about photography is something I endeavour to do each time I take images and will continue to do so. Photography is riddled with shiny syndrome ( the desire to have the new and the best kit ) falling foul of it at times until I realised that even an old camera when used properly takes a great photo providing the user has taken the time to understand all the settings and got the composition right, but will confess I do still like to have new kit ( often pre owned , but new to me ).
So now armed with a reasonable knowledge and decent kit my images began to be liked by others and the afore mentioned daughter who was undertaking a Marketing degree said I should set up pages on social media , which for a technophobe was a challenge. These were duly set up and strangers liked my images often commenting as well as giving a thumbs up, encouraging me to post more and to challenge the quality of what I posted.
So after 2 years of this I found myself retired earlier than planned or expected, wondering as many do what the heck do I do now, the family have all said individually and collectively do something with photography, you seem to be ok at it and what do you have to lose?
So what do I have to lose, I enjoy it, its good for my mental health, it is for my benefit, if others like it that's a bonus. Sharing images of nice things cannot be a bad thing for anybody, the potential loss is a few £ with the development of a website, and a bit of dented self confidence if things don't work out as hoped.
When doing something I have always given it my best shot, always endeavoured to ensure it gives something back and most importantly I can say I honestly tried. So that's why I am here, to say I tried and to give it my best shot, just hope I am not off target. Hopefully those who find my page , my blog and my socials like my images and stay with me on the journey of photography, enjoyment and positive mental health. Who knows, they may even want an image of mine as an item for their home or as a gift for others. This to me would be a massive turn around from how I viewed myself and my talents a few short years ago.
Although photography has a positive impact I also acknowledge that the support I received from counselling, coupled with a supportive family allowed me the space and time I needed to come to terms with the situation I found myself in post that event. I still have poor mental health but have learnt to manage the impact and most importantly know when to admit things are bad and ask for help. Asking for help was the hardest thing but now it is something I do without fear knowing I am not judged.
